There are a number of topics that can be controversial. People tend to have strong opinions regarding politics, religion and more. For ordinary people heated discussions with someone whose opinions clash with their own can be upsetting, for someone with anger issues getting through the day can be like navigating a minefield, only they are the explosion waiting to happen. This time of year, Americans (and people around the world), are tired of hearing about the 2016 Presidential election. That's why today we have some tips to help you keep your cool regardless of how heated the discussions become.
- It's not personal. This can be the hardest, but also the most important, thing to keep in mind when someone disagrees with your beliefs. They aren't attacking you personally, they simply have different views. Often we feel so strongly about our beliefs that it seems like they are inextricably tied to us. We are so much more than the sum of our beliefs, though. If you can avoid taking a difference of opinions as a personal attack on your character, you may find it less stressful.
- Try to see the other person's side. When we feel strongly about something it's easy to believe that our opinion is the right one, the only right one. Try to keep an open mind when listening to someone else's views. That doesn't mean you have to be swayed by their opinion and change your own stance, it just means that you are willing to hear them out and consider their point of view.
- It's okay to agree to disagree. There are no winners, only losers when people refuse to let an argument die. If you have both presented your views and neither party is willing to concede that the other has a point it might be time to just agree to disagree. Not everyone is going to share your opinions. If everyone in the world thought the same, and agreed on everything, the world would be a very boring place. When handled in a respectful manner, differing views can change the world for the better.
The most important thing is to not let a heated discussion ruin the rest of your day. Often we replay conflicts over and over in our mind. This only serves to keep us riled up and angry. Suddenly that disagreement from this morning is causing us to make mistakes at work, detracting from our enjoyment at lunch and likely making us feel ill by the afternoon. Stress is not good for you, prolonged stress is even worse. So replaying an argument and keeping that stress churning will have a negative impact on your attitude and your wellbeing. Once the discussion is over, move on. Yes, it may come up again, but don't stew about it until it does. Unless you're on the debate team there are no points awarded for "winning" the argument. You don't need to formulate new responses to the same points of contention in preparation for the next go-round. Just go about your day as normal and deal with any disagreements as they arise.
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